Connecting with people from your past is such an incredible gift. It makes you realize how amazing it is that certain relationships in our lives are just, what they are. When you are together, you don’t really have to do anything other than be yourself and enjoy each other. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, and no one is concerned with the fact that maybe you didn’t email or call as much as you possibly could have. Those people were brought into your life at one time, and now they are back, it’s like no time has passed … and it’s all good.
I was just talking to two of my girlfriends this morning about this … about how I feel very lucky that many of people from my past have been coming back into my life. I feel lucky for many reasons, but in particular, one reason that I didn’t realize until today.
My old friend from freshman year of college is in town this week, and we literally haven’t seen each other in over 15 years. Over the past week we have been catching up on what has happened in our lives since then, telling stories from college, some of which we both remember and some that one of us has to remind the other one of.
I was compelled to share one of my biggest memories of her and I (that I actually think about often, because to me, this is the moment we instantly become friends) about the time we were going to our first official frat party. There were about 10 girls that we had met the first week of school in our dorm and we all decided that we would go this is party together. We all got ready and walked out of our building in one line heading over to the party. I distinctly remember being really uncomfortable walking in with such a big group … and just as I was having this thought, my new friend turned to me and said “um, yeah, I don’t do the group thing” … I smiled and replied, “…um yeah, seriously, walking into a party with 10 other girls is really my biggest nightmare”. Rather than having a big conversion about why we don’t want to walk in with everyone else, or how snobby/bitchy we potentially sound in saying that, we just got it. We immediately sat on the curb across the street from the fraternity house for a good 30 minutes and talked … then went in when we felt like it, by ourselves. When I reminded her of this story, said “oh my God, I was always like that?” …. “oh my God, I was always like that”. “That’s totally me.”
Yesterday, this same friend was telling me about how she remembers me breaking up with my long-term boyfriend in college and putting this poem “about intuition, being true to yourself…I don’t know, it was about watering the flower or the garden or some shit” (lol) on my wall in a frame. About how I would reference it as I told my friends how important it was for me to take this time out for myself, and how important it was for them to trust their intuition as well. At first I couldn’t remember what she was talking about, then, I instantly remembered the poem, the frame, all of it … then I said to her “oh my God, I was always like that?” …. “oh my God, I was always like that … oh my God, I have always been this annoying?” – totally laughing at myself and realizing that the way I live my life now is not because I am older, that I lived in India, or for any other reason … it’s who I am.
When you haven’t seen someone for say, 15 years, obviously things have changed. You feel different, you are different … but maybe, not as much as you think. The greater gift in connecting with someone from your past is when they remind you, despite how much you have grown, think you have changed, or experienced through relationships, marriages, divorces, careers, travel, kids, etc … that you, even back then, were always you.